Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Showing Off Our Downsides Make Us Human

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With the rise of social networking sites, people can now share their triumphs and losses among their friends and to those people they care about. However, the trend seems to favor only the triumphs rather than the losses. Actually, I think this has been going ever since. We- well, most of us- only want to show our better part. It is as if to appear that we remain untainted in spite of the licking that the universe does. We therefore share only about how successful we are, how contented we are about our career, how perfect our relationships, etc. Perhaps it is because we want to gain the favor of our friends and loved ones. And the idea is that, the more successful we are the more people will be fond of us.

But recently, I’ve had a realization. While I was talking to a high school friend, whom I am very fond of because among us, I can tell he’s the most successful, so far. He humanized himself in my eyes by admitting his shortcomings and frustrations. Prior to our talk, I felt like I was fond of him because I looked up to him. I even came to the point where I think I’m idolizing him (yeah, big word). Anyway, I based all of my perceptions from his FB photos and his posts, to his tweets. Did I mention that I was actually stalking him? (I guess, it’s obvious now). And every time we’re together, he’s always the one to say a lot about his whereabouts.

When he opened up his problems, part of me was trying to elicit reactions about knowing how he is just like me -- frustrated about almost everything and someone who thinks he has yet to realize his full potential. However, I haven’t found any. Well, nothing that would trigger me to belittle him and think that he was actually far from what I conceived. Indeed, it makes me want to look up to him even more. Because now, I can relate to him and that just like me, he’s going through some problems that he has to deal with every day. That makes me want to be with him further, knowing that we’re on the same stage of life. I think, that would even open up a whole new conversation (and better friendship) between us from hereon. Our talk that day wasn’t just about how successful he was but also, how we shared common flaws.

I realized that opening up your downsides to other people would not make them think that you’re short of being awesome. On the contrary, it would actually make them be fond of you even more, because by knowing your flaws, they feel much more connected with you. If what you’re really after is to be likeable and to gain affection, being honest about the state of your life would be ideal. By that, I mean sharing your triumphs and losses. So, if you’re the kind of person who thinks that showing off will make you favorable to those people around you. I’m’ telling you, you might be wrong.

As for my friend, he’ll always be someone I look up to, just more human.